So many things

So many things running through my brain right now.
I want to defend myself.
I want to scream and yell.

But nothing will make any difference,
because everyone has their own perspective;
their own take on a sad situation.
Am I right?
Of course I am.
Am I justified?
Of course I am!

But so is everyone else.
No one got out of bed this morning and said,
"I think I'll go do something totally screwed up and wrong today."
It's always justified.

That's why it's so hard.

So many people..
you have my respect
for hanging in there;
for having thick skin,
because I don't.

Sometimes it's easier
to curl up
and go to sleep
with the covers over your head
and pretend like none of it ever happened.

Save face?
Why?
It's not necessary.

I just have to keep telling myself
that it's not important.