Having a hard time right now.. going through some "life" changes, and that's ok, but I'm still kind of sorting through a lot of things - asking a lot of questions - and it boils down to this.
I am not a special person. I am not a "life artist," or a trend-setter, or "perfect the way I create." I do not have "love and sprinkles" in my life, I am not as "artsy" as I wish I was, and my life, in general, is waaaaay more shabby than chic.
I wish I could have a home covered in vintage linens and wrought iron architectural salvage pieces with peeling paint, but instead, I have a very inexpensive sofa set that I am eternally grateful for, because I wasn't sure we would ever graduate from futons.
I am 27 years old. I weigh 50 pounds more than I should, and I refuse to buy clothes because it depresses me, so I just wear the same crap hoping that I will forget that I am depressed about my weight.
I am entirely too lazy to mop my floors everyday, and in fact, the reason I have hardwood floors in my house is because I'm entirely too lazy to vaccum.
I don't see the sense in owning throw pillows, because I would spend the next three decades of my life picking them up off of the floor in various rooms and returning them to their rightful places. Yes, I realize they're called "throw" pillows, but this just seems like a useless endeavor to me.
I also don't make my bed. Ever. My sheets are washed on a weekly basis, and that is enough for me.
I will never be that person. I am a complete disaster. I jump into things without even considering the consequences, and then when I fall down, I spend more time cleaning up my messes than anything else. All of this for one simple moment of joy.
I would like to say that all of this ends today; that I'm turning over a new leaf and you'll see a better, more organized, Sara tomorrow, but let's be honest here..
This is a part of who I am. It's not going to change. Now I just have to figure out how to come to terms with it.
5 comments:
this totally cracked me up because all of it is exactly like me, except leaping before looking, I always look first :)
but, making the bed, throw pillows, shabby vs chic, it's all me too.
Sara,
I wish I could be more like you. To be able to write from you heart no matter what. You are a inspiration to me. You are refreshing, and a beautiful woman. Don't change a thing!!
Sheila
I love you just the way you are! Don't be so hard on yourself! You are awesome!
Lump me in with the non bed making, non floor mopping, no throw pillows group! You have to remember you have a toddler in your house! You have to choose what to make your priority! Making the beds everyday or sitting down and playing with Zion! You are a wonderful Mom and that's the most important thing to be in life.
Sara, I love your style. Don't ever change. You have a wonderful gift for seeing beauty that most people miss. :)
-e
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