First, laptops are the stuff of the gods.
I'm sitting on my front porch.
Blogging.
It's beautiful outside - just overcast enough to not be bright, but not raining yet. Beautiful.
Inspiring.
Second, I honestly don't know why I let these things get to me.
Scrapbooking, paper crafting, remembering, preserving - these are GOOD things. Innately good things.
The people that come along with it are not necessary, right?
If you happen across a good person in the process, that's gravy, but it isn't the bottom line.
There are good people and not-so-good people in everything.
I just have to focus on keeping the good and ignoring the bad, and I'm not great at that, yet.
But I'm working on it.
It continues to amaze me how many enemies I've made since I started doing this.
I don't feel "important" enough to warrant this kind of attention.
How could I be a threat to anyone?
And if I'm not a threat, why would they waste the energy?
I certainly wouldn't - and don't.
Although, I guess I'm wasting energy talking about them, here, so that makes me hypcritical, huh?
Now before anyone starts emailing me and yelling about me "talking to them on my blog," the people I'm talking about here more than likely don't even read this, so don't get worked up about it. In fact, I don't even know them. Never met them, never been introduced to them (which is why I'm amazed that this is even happening) - this is simply me finding an outlet for my thoughts, k?
I guess I just wish people were nicer. Not as concerned with putting everyone else down, and more concerned with making people feel better about themselves. Yes, some of you are saying, "Oh, God, I'm gonna be sick," but I mean it. It's so much easier to be happy with your life, than expend energy to be miserable.
I'm trying, people.
I want to inspire.
I want to create.
I want to dream.
I don't even really need to see my dreams through to fruition - just the dreaming is good enough.
I'm lucky that I married a man who can understand this, and as crazy as it makes him, supports me for it.
I said to him one afternoon, "You would think that I would have learned by now to stop trusting these people.."
And he got very quiet.
Then he said, simply, "I don't want to make this about me, but the hardest part of this is watching you go through this over and over and over again, and watching you cry yourself to sleep over and over and over again, and not being able to do anything about it."
When I suffer, my family suffers, and it gives my enemies power over us.
It has to stop now.
So, bear with me, because I'm not perfect, and I never will be, but I'm trying to be better.
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5 comments:
Sara, what the heck? Why do people keep messing with you? I think that you and I share a common detest for conflict, and confrontation, so I can really empathise with you. I have so been there with the crying and not sleeping just because of the knowledge that someone has something agianst you. That is totally a crappy feeling.
I'm so sorry that it keeps happening to you.
I could tell you what to say to those people but it warrants lots of big and foul words and they probably wouldn't understand it anyway. Instead just say, well Kathy likes me. That'll shut em up.
Okay so it won't but it is true. Love ya babe. Don't let em get ya down. I know its hard and lord knows I've been there just remember that there are those of us that love you BECAUSE of who you are not IN SPITE of it.
I'm here if you need me.
You said it best...they have the power....TAKE IT BACK GIRL - you are stong and you have a good thing going.
Amen Sara! And Mike is just the sweetest about the whole thing. Just don't let it get you down Sara. There are a lot more of us that are good than not, and we have your back!
When you work or play with ALL women, gossip happens. Wear your turtle shell proudly. Remember who you are and if you can look in the mirror everyday then, that is really all that matters. What you think of yourself becomes your inner strenght and it shows outwards in time. Confidence comes into play...look at your art and realize you are doing something right. Believing in yourself is more important than what others say. In time, they will get bored and move on to a new topic....by the way I love your blog and your art and your funny lists. Keep truckin' Kara
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