Crisis of Faith

That's pretty much been the theme of my life.. I've always been fascinated by religion, and have generally classified myself as a "christian," but here I am again, questioning. It's becoming more and more of an issue these days, because we're deciding where to send Zion to school and what to teach him about religion. I want him to decide for himself what to believe in (or not), but it's also my job to guide him in his spiritual journey, right?

*The rest of this post has NOTHING to do with scrapbooking, so if that's why you're here, go ahead and skip it. This is another one of my ramblings. (sorry!)*

Anyone see the "Tomb of Jesus" (or read it - yep, I DVR'd it AND bought the book today)? I keep checking this stuff out. I stayed away from the Da Vinci mystery stuff, cause I just don't buy into conspiracy theories. I accept that conspiracies are always going to be there, and I accept that our government is out to get us, but I can't be bothered with it. Takes up too much time and energy.

So anyway, I've read all about the Gospel of Judas, and I've checked into the Mary Magdalene thing, and until I started scrapbooking I had intended to go back to school to get my master of divinity. I never wanted to be a minister or clergy person - just a theologian.

And honestly, the more I delve into it, the harder it is to believe. Now before everyone goes "Christian Coalition" on me, hear me out, ok? I'm not anti-God or anti-Jesus, and in fact, I believe very strongly in both of them.

My problem, at this point in time, is with the Bible. Specifically, I have a problem with the way people interpret the Bible. I know, I know - divinely inspired, no mistakes, blah blah blah. The fact of the matter is that there *are* mistakes.

In one instance, they discovered a transcript of one of the books of the Bible that a monk had written a specific way. A hundred years later, another monk transcribed it and wrote something in the margin - kind of the way we write a notation beside a favorite verse. The NEXT monk, over a hundred years later, inserted that into HIS transcription. Now it's a fact! It's in the Bible, and it's a fact! Not part of the original Bible. Divinely inspired? Possibly. But does that mean that ALL the versions of the Bible are divinely inspired? What about the different versions that contradict each other? How in the heck are you supposed to decide which one is right? And no, I'm not talking about the places in the Bible that contradict each other, cause I'm just as tired of that argument as you are. I'm talking about the different VERSIONS of the entire BIBLE that contradict each other - the new international version, the Catholic version, the King James Version.

Then there's the whole human aspect. Humans are flawed, period. We are going to interpret the Bible wrong. Yes, you have to interpret it - everyone interprets everything. Your brain twists things. You see a blue sky where I will see an aqua sky. It's the nature of humans. The fact of the matter is, the Bible and its various interpretations have caused more misery, war, intolerance, and bad stuff in GENERAL than anything else in the world. Yes, I've heard the "Satan was behind that" theory, but let's talk about the witch trials, and the Spanish Inquisition, and the Crusades, and hell, let's just go there with Iraq. Cause God's on our side, right?

And honestly, you start studying other religions - Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, Judaism, Shamanism - all of the isms - and they all start to sound alike. You wouldn't BELIEVE the stuff Jesus and Buddha had in common - they could have been best friends.

My latest "course of study" (and I use that term VERY loosely) is the Gnostics. Honestly, I'm starting to think that the Gnostics had it right. Maybe this *is* the way Jesus intended his message to come across. How the heck am I supposed to know? It definitely sounds more like the Jesus *I* know.

My poor kid. I dunno what to teach him.