At least, he is if I have anything to say about it. Do you have any idea how many times that poor kid has been dropped on his head? When he was 3 months old, his godfather, God love him, dropped him on our hardwood floors. My stomach and my heart were in my mouth until I heard him cry. No harm, no foul.
When he first started walking around, he pulled a tray table down on top of his face. I scrapped that picture - some of you expressed horror when you saw it.
Then, when he was about a year and a half old, he did a frontward flip out of the shopping cart at Home Depot and onto the concrete floor. On his head. In front of about 20 people. After he calmed down and we were ten aisles away, the manager came on the loudspeaker and made an announcement reminding people of the importance of buckling the safety belt around your children when they were in their shopping carts. Thanks for that. I'd like to say, for the record, that he had been buckled in, and had somehow wiggled OUT OF THE SAFETY BELT WHILE I WAS TURNED AROUND FOR TEN SECONDS.
Two nights ago, the child fell off of the couch and SLAMMED his head into the corner of the coffee table. Almost immediately, a goose egg appeared on the BACK of his head (holy crud, did I panic) about an inch tall and two inches wide. For those of you who are familiar with the size of a two-year-old's head, that's HUGE. That one actually warranted some internet searching on the subject of "concussions & what to look for," and a midnight phone call to my grandmother.
Then, just when it went away, we went into Minsky's tonight to grab a pizza. Being the RIDICULOUSLY inexperienced and STUPID mother that I am, I sat him on the bar while I paid the lady. Then, while I was picking the pizza up, my daredevil son JUMPED OFF OF THE BAR. Maybe you didn't get that. He LAUNCHED HIMSELF FROM THE BAR TO THE CONCRETE FLOOR. Luckily, he landed on his head. Sigh. I was positive he was fine, but the glares from the other restaurant patrons assured me that if I remained where I was, the Division of Child Services would be swooping down on me any second.
The college student behind the counter apologized profusely, and I very calmly explained (over my son's wails) that it was completely my stupid fault for putting him there in the first place! The server said, "Let me get that door for you."
Of course, as soon as the door closed behind us and we were in the street, the wailing stopped. He was fine. I'm pretty sure I have officially been removed from the running for the mother-of-the-year award.
We made it home without further incident. I decided not to mention this to Mike. He was still upset with me for the "falling-off-the-couch" incident. Ten minutes in the house and Zion had conked his head on the stupid coffee table again.
Interjection: ask me whose idea it was to get this coffee table in the first place. I was COMPLETELY HAPPY with no coffee table, but SOMEONE (who-shall-remain-nameless, dear husband) INSISTED that a living room wasn't a living room until it had a coffee table.
Mike said, "Has the goose-egg from the other day even healed yet?" I said, "I don't know, but he survived the fall from the bar at Minsky's just fine."
Mike and I are currently not speaking to each other.
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3 comments:
Oh my gosh Sara. Just slap a helmet on that sweet little boy of yours and all will be well.
oh geesh, we don't even blink when one of the kids falls off something any more! Our coffee table is thier favorite thing to jump off of, it is also a stage to dance on. I can't tell you how often Alexander bleeds, it is usually his mouth...
We have 3 stairs up to our bedroom, I can't count the number of times he has fallen down them. Most recently he did a complete flip to land on his face on the bottom stair. Cried for half a second, bled on my shirt and all was well!
Oh, he'll be fine! When I was a kid there was a little boy at my church that would run head first into a pole in the basement nearly every Sunday. One day he even did it twice during Sunday School! But he turned out just fine--graduated from college with an engineering degree and even earned the Bright Flight Scholarship.
But, hey, that helmet idea is not a bad suggestion! Or maybe bubble wrap! JK
Amber
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