You Are Here

When Matt and I "broke up" (read: when he left me 3 weeks before I was supposed to MARRY him), I, for all intents and purposes, moved in with my "adopted mom" and "adopted sister." I was in a place where I couldn't really function on my own, and I just wanted to be taken care of.

The morning it happened, I drove to their house at 7am and climbed into bed next to Gina. I didn't even say anything - just cried and cried, and she finally woke up soaking wet. She didn't say a word - just went to the kitchen and brought back some vodka. She already knew what had happened.

Over the next few weeks, I was in and out, trying to come to terms with the fact that my entire life had been turned completely upside down - everything I had planned over the last five years was now wrong, and I had to come up with someone else to "be."

One night, in between road trips, I was up late with Gina watching movies ("Muppets from Space," "Practical Magic," and "The Princess Bride" were our favorites), and finally was just too sad to keep up the conversation. I went to bed and laid there in the dark wondering what was going to happen to me. I didn't know who I was without him - I felt so completely lost, and I couldn't seem to get a grip on who or where I was supposed to be. I finally, against my better judgment, picked up the phone and called him.

His girlfriend answered the phone.

After an awkward, "I'm sorry, I'll call back tomorrow.." (it was 3am), I hung up and went back downstairs. I sat on the couch next to Gina and cried and cried until my whole body hurt. Poor Gina just let me cry. Finally, I said, "I just feel so lost without him, Gina."

She didn't miss a beat. She got off the couch and disappeared into the next room. When she came back, she had a piece of notebook paper in her hand. She had written, in big, bold, black marker, "YOU ARE HERE." Underneath it was a big "X."

"Now you don't have to feel lost anymore," she said.

I like to remember stuff like this during the holidays. I wouldn't have made it where I am now without her. ;)