..that I had something deep to say, but the truth is that I'm feeling kinda down this week. Lots of things that I thought I had left behind me keep popping up - rising to the surface - and just when I decided I had a handle on everything, I realize that I'm wrong.
I've been thinking a lot lately about relationships, and people I've been involved with in the past that helped shape the person I've become. They always say that a person comes into your life for a reason, and sometimes it's a temporary thing - something that services a specific purpose - and sometimes it's a forever thing.
When I first moved to Lawrence with Matt, I worked at a place that processed stuff for the government. It was a contract they had - just data entry stuff. There were a lot of college students that worked there, and one of the girls I worked with was Carrie.
She was so. freaking. cool. Everything I had ever wanted to be - she followed the Grateful Dead - the GRATEFUL DEAD, people - on their last tour. She loved Pepsi. She couldn't stand it if I drank Coke around her, and I didn't care. Soda was soda. If she wanted me to drink Pepsi, I drank Pepsi. We had fun together.
Eight years later and I can't stand to drink Coke. Can't stand it. I am a die-hard Pepsi fan. Anyone who knows anything about me knows not to even talk to me until I've had a Pepsi in the morning. It's borderline grounds for divorce if Mike drinks the last of it and doesn't replace it.
It's a weird thing to remember about someone.. "she introduced me to my favorite soft drink." But there are so many things like that in my past - I'm sure in anyone's past - and I've just been thinking a lot about it lately.
It's the little things that turn into huge things - the "if this minor situation hadn't occurred, I wouldn't be Mike's wife and Zion's mom" kind of stuff - that really throw me for a loop. Past friends and acquaintances that set these things in motion, and I don't even know where or who they are today.
Ok. Enough. I have a web site to design. Thanks for listening..
3 comments:
Sara, so sorry to hear you've been having a rough week. You're right though everything happens for a reason. I look back on my "what ifs" but wouldn't trade them for anything because if I had chose the other things in life the most important people to me wouldn't be here.
Is there something in the water? I sat down to post on my blog fourteen thousand (HUGE exaggeration there) times this week and could not for the life of me write a freaking thing. Total block. I was really down too (as you know) and I guess I figured what was the sense in writing about it? I could not make myself put it into words (on my blog that is);) I'm waiting for some inspiration.....
Every time I think about relationships like that, where they had a big impact on your, or people that were such a small part of your life, but still there, it always makes me think of this song. It is a Don Chaffer song talking about how people affect your life, but the big picture is still God. The line that I think of is "People go by like a flame, you may never even know their name, you might get warm, you might get burned but either way the flame is not the Sun that rises every day"
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